Fortune Cookie

Fortune Cookie

“Congratulations . . .Today is YOUR lucky day!”The lettering from a permanent marker for sure, the thick lines and accidental serifs were a dead giveaway. Jineane looked around to make sure that this wasn’t someone’s cruel little joke or way of taunting her size. At a petite 5’3″ and 220 pounds, she was quite self conscious. But everyone she questioned with her eyes seemed to not reciprocate any idea why she was staring at them.

Her eyes now turned from scrutinizing to gleeful realizing that this was a small miracle, or better yet, some sort of kismet happening. She had always prayed for one of those. Her chubby little fingers ran over the metallic blue plastic wrapping, the tips discerning between the texture of the marker and the texture of the packaging.

She was desperately hungry, which made the situation all the more sweeter, so to speak. How often does one find an extra package of cookies in the magazine pouch on such a short flight? Moreover, how often is the package personally to you? She assumed both these things did not happen very often and made an immediate oath to herself to not break the seal.

Such a kind gesture was suitable for keeping and that’s exactly what she would do. Her eyes remained fixed on the package. The chips bursting forth from the cookie on the front made her mouth salivate, but her extreme joy made her not even notice. “Chips Ahoy!” the wrapper exclaimed. Ahoy! It was so much fun, pure ectasy. Her knees involuntarily shimmied up and down while hewr digits did micro jazz hands–she really couldn’t contain herself. An extra rush of air flew up her moo-moo as a result of the movement which only excited her more. Her lips pursed and she let out a noise that combined the dynamics of both a hum and a squeal. Quickly sh became worried that perhaps someone had heard or seen her. But alas, the jet engine droned out her sounds and no one seemed to be looking at her. She rested easy and fell asleep with both hands covering her cookies in the median of her lap for safe keeping.

A swift knock to the back of her headrest awoke Jineane. Her body quickly double-checked that the 4 pack of Chips Ahoy! were safe. Thank goodness they were. Her head leaned back into slumber into slumber while simultaneouslya bellowing groan escaped her stomach. Once again worried, her eyes checked to see if anyone noticed. The small rodent of a child across the aisle hideously laughed out loud while other passengers noticeably tried to look like they didn’t hear anything. “MOTHERFUCKING JET ENGINE!” Jineane yelled inside her head. How did she alone drone out a 737 jet plane? This she did not know, but was very angry about. Her eyes zeroed in on the gift again.

In an attempt to save face yet uphold her oath as solemnly as possible, she agreed with herself to eat just one cookie. Once it hit her tongue she practically fainted. The cookie was tastier than imagined. As the dust from the first cookie had been licked away from her lips with her tongue, her forefinger had already grabbed hold for another one. Before she realized what she was doing, the ritual had occured enough times to leave the wrapper empty.

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This was written on a plane in April or May of 2003. It still hasn’t been edited or re-read.